Semoga Cepat Sembuh

Life is so unexpected and the world would never stop spinning, no..never!. You could be happy now bitching about Fuck-Face Humphries, and the next 2hours, you could find yourself crying, devastated, and even worst, when you got to know that your friend is dying.

This is what happened to me yesterday (05/12/2011). I was so happy chatting with friends in FB, sharing pictures, gossiping, . I kept on browsing and reading my friends' wall posts, til I read one of the posts mentioned '*****accident dgn lori, and she's still unconcious, she's badly injured, she's now tgh nazak'.....what???Ada betul ka?? And according to one of my friends, she was driving alone from Klang to Pahang at 4am...

I am now still trying to digest the catastrophe. Dear God, I hope that You help her to go through it, please..please save her.

1st Day After A Year

Donut..or Choon Seng...the guy that i used to love..the guy that i cried for every night.

No surprise...Im done with him..was my mistake...for fell in love with other guy while we were still together...at least..i didnt tell him lies...

Its been a year...remembering him means consuming my life. I gave me myself and him chances to get together again..but I think ive done enough. Obviously me and him..we were not meant together. So, I think its wise to disconnect anything that could re-connect me and him. I even deleting anyone that is related to him. I promise myself to continue writing and filling 'my scratch' till I can forget him..totally forget him. And the best thing...I stop telling him what I am up to now and where Im working,,not gonna tell him because we are no longer sharing the 'story'. Plus...would he be interested on my life???Because he once said to me..'Sophie..you should get a life. You are damn annoying...irritating...I need a space'...Yeahh..thats right. I think you really need a space...enjoy your SPACE then...

>>>>>I just love the new me..live life without a guy.

Painterly Prints

I flipped through the Cleo mag again today..and guess what I found..a really pretty painterly prints dress..which can be worn out day and night..cool huhh..I fall in love with the tiered asymmetrical dress from Envee which costs RM219..and a V neck shift dress from Sissley.The painterly print is a must have item for my wardrobe..and I plan to get a piece of it soon..really-really soon.Or..maybe I can just enjoy the 70% off...of RM219..it means..RM65.70..woww..Times Square huhh..or somewhere around BB there..it won't be exactly the same when we talk about the quality..but..go to hell with the quality..all I wanted to have now is a painterly print dress..I don't give a damn on the quality as long as it is not made from nylon..well..I am a cotton freak..cotton makes me happy..who doesn't love cotton..I must give a big Thank You to the Cleo for introducing me to this wicked print...at least I now have an outfit for a day-working and night party..in a day.There is no need for me to rush home for the party after working..simply just glide my lip gloss and do a quick touch-up..yeayy..I am ready to hit the dance floor..

Talking about the party..its been quite long that I didn't shake my ass on the dance floor..I am not busy doing something else,.but the truth is I have to forgone the party since my Donut always be beside me..hugging and kissing me..the best moment other than going to the party.Plus..Donut would never agree of the idea 'letting me to the club'..he would non-stop texting me..and calling me though he already knew that its hard for me to answer his answer..yaa..I don't have that super power ear to hear the phone ringing whilst its in my bag..come on Hunny..forget about it..one thing I know is..Donut is coming back really soon..and seriously I can't wait..

The 24th

Friday..its a lazy day.Woke up around 1pm..and I still can feel the burnt on my eyes.Its burning..burning..and burning.I was non-stop crying yesterday.Donut finally leaving me..well..I do understand that its only for a few months but still..as usual..I cant accept it.I am not ready for a thousands Kilometers away boyfriend..It would never be easier for me to have a long distance relationship.Its so hard..especially when I have to hug him before he left.

Talking about 24th of September..everything went wrong yesterday.I can't connect to the wireless internet..the skype wasn't working as it was before this..there was something wrong with it's mic..what makes thing worst was I can't get through my Donut..I was so sad I could not talked to him.There are so many things that I really want to say..its more than 'don't be notty' message..hopefully 'Skype' understand it how I feel...

Awhile

I just realized that I didn't really post a new entry for my scratchy scratch heart page..well..may be I was quite busy going out with my Donut..going here and there..meeting this people and that people..his friends of course..as far as I know we don't really hang out with my friends..except Ruffey..well..just once...its not that I don't want to introduce my friends to him..but what the matter is he always not free for that..

Talking about August and September..I think I made a good decision when it comes to the 'work job thingy'..I got accepted working as the ticketing reservation consultant for the Jetstar Airlines company which is a good start for me..a stepping stone for something higher..a good chance for me to find a new friends..other than the so not true yet so drama UiTM friends..well,.not all..just few of them..in fact, there is high possibility for me to meet the same type of friends...drama queen,.back stabber,.friend for convenient..and the list goes on and on..it will never end.Well..fair enough..I totally don't mind if I got that kind of friends because I know that they are not going to be with me 50 years ahead..Talking about the work...I am going to start a training on this coming 28th of September..next 2 weeks..a bit nervous,.but I am so excited to start a new job..plus,.I'm going to rent a room that just opposite to my work place...5 minutes walking and I will be in the office switching on my pc..I can't stop imagining that.The other thing is...about the dress code..oh-mi-God!!I can't believe that I'm goin to be in a casual wear no matter when and where..so,.that way I can save my bucks and buying something else..a washed out jeans maybe..I always wanting it..it is because I don't have one of acid wash jeans..thats why....moving to the pay offered by the company..its not that high but I think its a good amount for a freshie like me..not much working experience..and there are so many things that I need to learn..one thing for sure..I'm going to increase my pay to not just 1800..I think I should follow the rules law of doing more if I want to earn more...well...it seems that I don't really have many options other than working hard for the extra bucks..

Relationship...me and Donut..he is going back to Japan on this coming 24th..and I know that I am not going to send him off..not that I don't want to send him but its just that I feel so not wanted to be there..so,.I will just waiting for his call the next day..on 25th..and after that we will live a normal life we live before..seeing each other on skype for almost 24 hours..tehtarik him when I miss him..sharing our day..quarelling..merajuk and pujuk2 moment...and a lot more...thats what we did previously..and I think thats what we are going to do after he left Malaysia..soon...I admit that I will be very sad..crying the whole night on 24th..but I do believe that I will be occay the next day..

PAIN

A few weeks passed by..and I am still in the middle of uncertainty.Lots of things happened lately..and none of them could make me laugh.As far as I concerned..its been almost a month that I never laugh.(I am telling lie..well,.its not that I never laugh at all for these few weeks)..even for myself.Uhh..its so sad.And there is nothing I could do about it.Here..lemme tell you guys what is the culprit for these shitty thingy..I think a 'not accepted' relation is a common thing.I really understand how does it feels.It hurts..badly.I always feel that something just isn't right.Every day..every second..even when I was be with my Donut..I hate it so much when I have to see his 'in-between' face.Oh my God,.why does he always in dilemma every time he is seeing me.I feel that he is becoming not himself..damn..I hate that...
Another thing...sometimes I feel like I want to have a break..trying to run away from all these..well..at least I could ease the feeling,.(it is for both of our sake)..

FROM THE INSIDE

Its been awhile...I really miss posting some new entries..the truth is I have zillion stuffs to share..and almost all about my Donut..I just realized that,.he doesn't really take care of me.Donut..why must you treat me like a shit while you already know that I don't deserveto be treated like that.You..never be my side when I really need you..you keep made me blind with your words..keep telling me lies..a promise that end up with a tears.I hate it so much..but still..I don't get it..why must I still be with you..be with a guy that would not be able to keep his words.