I HAVE A 'FROM HELL' DATE

I went out with my Donut today..my first date with him since 6 months ago.Surprisingly,.I can't feel the excitement as I felt previously.I stepped in to his car with a mixed up feeling.I can't even gave him a smile.I was damn too carried away with the anxiety.First day meet up huhh...turn to a sour boy and girl dating day...what a day.It was only a few minutes that I can feel the sparks..the rest..??No need to mention..it was sour..sad,.and stressful..I don't know why..maybe its good to not seeing each other during his semester break.For the sake of you and me..I just don't want a fight..no more pressure in a relationship..no more stress..please.Thank God..I am going for the train and place program this coming Sunday.That way I can stay out-of-touch with him..there is no use of seeing each other if we don't really enjoy the moment..I hate it so much!!I know its not your fault..but I just can't accept it.We are going out together..try to have fun..but I can see that you were not really enjoy it..you were thinking of something else..worry all the time.Yes..I can see that.I can't forget how you react when received a text from your sister..I felt so guilty.I seriously think that,.we shouldn't going out anymore..Awhile may be.It hurts me so much..today officially a day where I feel like its not really a date.No warm hugs..and wet kisses..what I got today just..a few seconds hug..and quick cold kiss...yes..you did trying to give me perfect kiss..but it was really a cold..in-affection kiss..